Sports "journalism" is a joke

I never got around to doing it last week (blame my neverending quest to become the World Heavyweight Champion of Lazy), but I think it's time to bitch about the idiocy of "the sports media" re: the recent Baseball HOF inductions.

First of all, I'm assuming you have sense enough not to watch shit like Around the Horn. Well, I should but if I didn't watch, I wouldn't have stuff to bitch about and my Jay Mariotti voodoo doll would get no lovin'. Your chest still hurtin' you, Jay? Just remember there's more where that came from.

Anyway, after the HOF inductions were announced, everyone on the show had pretty much the same thing to say: oh, it's great for Ripken and Gwynn, but it's just a shame that all the talk about McGwire is going to overshadow them.

Guess what, assholes? IT WOULDN'T IF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT YOUR FUCKING COCKWASHERS ABOUT IT ALREADY.

This is a familiar theme for ol' ESPN's "analysts". They'll spend all show bitching about McGwire/TO/Sexy Rexy (in their defense, I feel we should be talking about the great Sex Cannon, but oh well) and then will immediately turn around and lament that "it's just a shame that we focus on such and such so much". This is usually followed by me throwing whatever is handy at the wall with lethal speed- we've gone through two cats this way. R.I.P. Milhouse and Nelson- God won't throw you at walls.

The schadenfreude here is really absurd. Do they realize what the fuck they're saying? I mean really. The truly funny part about all of this is that this great and sacred sports institution of bitching about the truly obnoxious and then lamenting said bitching has crept into political "journalism" (well, the extent of it's influence depends on if you count Fox News as journalism). The pundits will line up on their proscribed sides of the issue, verbally kick each other in the junk for a couple of minutes and then lament about "the partisan nature of the debate today, blah blah blah".

I think the only conclusion we can reach from all of this is that ESPN must be destroyed in order to protect our Democracy. It's almost enough to make you cry.

Let the Hating begin

The function of this blog is to serve as an outlet for my sports hatred. A long time ago, I realized that while I did enjoy sports in a traditional sense, I actually enjoyed hating on teams that I disliked more than I enjoyed rooting for my teams. Over time, this hatred evolved to encompass the entirety of the sports world: commentators, officials, fans, owners, commissioners, and even the mothers of athletes. Come on, McNabb's mom is a mouthy bitch.

See? I'm a veritable bubbling cauldron of hate, a singing fountain of displeasure if you will. Hell, I even chose the black background for this blog.

You can expect pure piss and vinegar out of this blog if you become a regular reader. I'll probably focus on Atlanta sports, as I'm a native of this crappy city. But don't worry- I'm an equal opportunity hater, so chances are I will get around to hating on your team sooner or later. Or if you're a New York Mets fan, all the time with every fiber of my being, with the force of a thousand suns, etc etc.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hate on Florida during this National Championship game. Despite the fact that my Bulldogs aren't in a BCS game this year, I can still channel my hatred into this game and be productive. See? Hatred makes the world go 'round.